Or, y’know, that thing called “Passover.”
Or the whole thing with Noah’s Ark where he killed off everything in the world except Noah and his family, and two of every animal. Y’know, no big deal. Just millions of people.
90% of the Old Testament is about God killing people in temper tantrums
Are we not going to mention Jesus?
Oh my god.
when your leg turns against you
I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING. OMFG.
this is 500% of what’s wrong with my life
i just love the disbelief in the cat’s eyes over the fact that her own leg is kicking the shit out of her
someone write about twin girls that were separated at birth and one went to louis and the other went to harry. then the two girls run into each other when they’re in nursery school and they go home and tell their dads all about meeting and harry and louis cant believe it and they think its just a joke till one day at parent teacher conference they see that their kids actually twins and stuff happens between daddy louis and daddy harry. meep.
I have two moods
One is highly sophisticated intellectual who goes into complex thoughts and is always moody and deep
the other is an immature 5 year old that doesn’t know how to control herself or her language or her actions
there is no inbetween
"Hit me my thesis is due in 12 hours and I haven’t started it"
"Hit me I have a final in an hour and I didn’t study"
"Hit me I’ve been on a 24 hour drinking binge and I’m invincible"
"Hit me. You’re a university vehicle and I’ll get free tuition."